Total Pageviews

Monday, July 25, 2011

The F U States of America

Today our politicians staged no less than four press conferences, in which they appeared on national television to rant F. U. F. U. at their political opponents. Afterwards pundits from both parties convened for analysis wherein they called the politicians: liars, fear-mongerers, and petty selfish intractable political opportunists who all want to destroy the country for their own petty ideologies. And they're all right.

Meanwhile during market hours the traders at the 5 largest banks that control 60 percent of all financial assets in this country got together to scream F. U. F. U. at the suckers who dared to trade with them. They did this by front running their every trade and then pushing the low volume markets around in random directions, first running the futures down 120 points before the open, rallying off the open back to even, forcing the suckers to cover and then sending the markets back down in the final 5 minutes of trading. F. U. N.

Other Ex-futures traders like Jeff Koons, not content to F over pension funders, have moved into the Art Market where they've developed a special brand of F.U. Art where they make cheap porcelain statues for 5 bucks and sell them for 5 million to nouveau riche douche bags, and then run back to their galleries and shriek F. U. F. U. into their champagne flutes.

Meanwhile down at the Jersey shore Snooki got wasted again and barfed all over herself. I don't know who that says F. U. to, but definitely somebody.

No comments:

Post a Comment