Republicans vow to expand their brand

The Republican Congress vowed today to block home plate, second base, lay-ups. shots on goal, and all crosswalks, passing lanes and crowded aisles, in an effort to expand their brand.  "Sure it's easy enough to block legislation and nominees when you work in the government," said House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy, "But we'd like to take it to the next level.  So we're urging athletes, automobile drivers, and even pedestrians to show their solidarity and just block and gum up whatever the hell you can, until everything everywhere ceases to function in any way whatsoever.  Even if you're just carrying fifty items into the express land and then paying with a bag full of pennies, it might not seem like much, but believe me, you're helping the cause.

After all, we're Americans, gosh darn it, and Branding is the most important activity of any business at any level.  So it's time we got our unique brand out into all facets of American life.